I'M IN A NEW YORK STATE OF MIND
Passover was long, loud, and crazy. As soon as Liam had a moment to think, with just the quiet calm of Chloe's presence, he came face to face with a realization he had been fighting for a long time.
There was nothing like going home for a holiday. As much as Liam complained about his parents, and his loud uncles, and his stupid fucking brother, he loved them all. He loved the chaos of his family, and being around them. So when he and Chloe finally left his parent's place, burdened with bags of leftovers and with cheeks sore from being pinched by his great aunts and his granny, he was smiling. And he smiled the entire trip back to the hotel they were calling home for the next week.
He used his keycard to let them into their room, and immediately shivered. "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, why did the AC come on? It's fucking freezing in here!" Not that Liam wasn't always cold. If it was less than 80 degrees, he was shivering. Setting down his bag of delicious brisket, and potato kugel, and tzimmes, he made a beeline for the AC unit to turn it the fuck off.
Once the thing was no longer blasting frigid air at them, he sighed and turned back to Chloe, pushing a hand into his hair and smiling at her. "I'm fucking exhausted. Also, I can say fuck again without my mother cuffing me upside the head. Fuck fuck fuckity fuckballs!"
It'd been a while since Chloe had been a part of a family gathering. It wasn't that her parents didn't love her, they sure did but, they didn't quite understand the fact that she could read minds. They couldn't wrap their heads around the idea that she was a professor of sorts, helping people get a grip on their own powers and for that reason they didn't speak to her much. They didn't like to hear about it, so they instead would just try to come up with excuses to not see her around the holidays and while this had hurt at first? She was coming to terms with it. Now she had her own family in the people who lived with her at the institute and.. well, that was better than anything she could've ever hoped for.
As they passed through the door of their hotel room she sighed happily at the cold air that washed over them. It was exhilarating! And.. well, she always kept her room pretty cold. She was a firm believer in it never being over 70 degrees in any residence of hers.
"Oh my god, your family is so fucking dope, man." She closed the door behind her and wrapped her arms tight around Liam's waist, burying her face into his back. "Thank you soo so so so much for bringing me."
When Chloe wrapped her arms around him, Liam sighed again and smiled, bending to press his cheek to the top of her head. It was becoming a very familiar motion for him now, something that he did automatically when he had her in his arms.
"Of course, Dandelion. I'm glad you decided to come. And I'm glad you think my family is dope. They all like you." He made a face briefly, and hugged her a bit tighter. "Especially Mark. Dickwad." His brother, whom he looked a lot like, save for their hair and Mark's noticeable muscles, had made a point of pointing out to him that Chloe was like a tiny kitten, that he wanted to pick up and tuck into his pocket. It had made Liam growl, which had made Mark laugh.
Mark had made it a priority to comment on her in one way or another.. multiple times.. And while it hadn't made her uncomfortable ( honestly she legitimately felt like he'd been doing it to irk Liam ), she had very obviously let him down. Her heart belonged elsewhere, to someone else.. who may or may not be standing directly in front of her.
She sighed and nuzzled his chest for a moment before lifting her head and peering up at him. "Hey," She released his waist then, resting her hands against either side of his face. "I don't like Mark. He's pretty attractive but, I'd just say that's because he looks a lot like you." Chloe nibbled at her bottom lip for a moment before she brushed her thumbs gently against the curve of his jaw. "I'm glad they liked me. Your dad is amazing."
His smile softened when Chloe reached up, and he leaned into her touch immediately, lifting his hand to cover hers and keep it in place against his cheek. "My dad is pretty amazing. And he really does like you. He told me so, when he pulled me aside before we left."
What his dad had actually said was, 'Why are you not dating that sweet girl? If you do not do so soon, I'll know you don't have a brain in your head.' Which... had made him blush horrifically. Because of course his father had called him out on his feelings for Chloe. Of fucking course he did.
Turning his head, Liam daringly brushed his lips against the palm of her hand, leaving the softest of kisses there. "I'm glad you like them," he repeated, his voice softer now. It meant a lot that Chloe got on with his family, because now that meant he could bring her around more often. That mattered to him.
This was so stupid, right? They were standing here in the middle of a hotel room that they were sharing, talking about how happy the two of them were because his family liked her. She was his friend, right? But, see, there was were the issue lied. She didn't want to be his friend anymore. What Chloe wanted was to venture into his parents' house holding his hand.. snuggling up on the couch. She wanted to be able to tell his brother to fuck off because the real deal was the fact that she was with Liam and that meant that Mark would have to look elsewhere. Because she wanted that and just being there, sitting next to him, for HOURS without anything apart from their company? That had been one of the best things that had ever happened to her.
She felt her cheeks flush a light shade of pink as electricity shot through her palm. Oh, man. "S-So.. uh, what're we doing tomorrow? I don't know how this whole Passover thing works." Should she take her hands back? She didn't want to but her arms were going to get sore if she left them there like that. Instead of lowering them completely, she left them drop to his shoulders instead. Because, you know, he was a zillion feet taller than she was.
Liam's head was spinning. He felt drunk, but he hadn't had a drop all night because plum brandy made him ill, and he hated potato vodka with the burning passion of a man who had gotten drunk off the stuff when he was fourteen, and now associated it with that first terrible hangover. So there was nothing impairing his senses... except for Chloe. Chloe, and the smell of her hair, and the way her nose scrunched up when she laughed, and how she laughed at all his stupid jokes. Chloe, who had adapted so well into his stupid family, not batting an eye when the insults began flying in the living room after dinner. Chloe, who proclaimed to love his family, especially his cousins who had thought she was their age because she was so little, and had tried to steal her away from the adult table and make her sit with them instead. His Chloe. She was the one making him feel drunk, and had been making him feel that way for a long time now.
He didn't have an answer to her question, simply because he suddenly had no words. He had lost the entirety of the English language. He gazed down at her, the light in his eyes shifting to something warmer, but infinitely terrified. Because he knew, right then, that he was going to kiss her. It wasn't something he decided to do, it was something he just knew he was going to do. Something he needed to do. When he bent his head to her, his heart began hammering, hard enough that he was sure the pendant he always wore would be bouncing against his chest. He hesitated, just for a second, for a millisecond, before he closed the rest of the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers.
Because fuck it. If you couldn't kiss the woman you... liked... a whole lot... in the middle of a beautiful hotel suite in New York City, then when could you?
There was a moment, however fleeting, that she caught the apprehension in his eyes and in that moment she nearly dropped the walls she'd worked so hard to build to pick out what exactly it was that had him feeling such a way but, she didn't. She didn't because she noticed how close he was getting and how fast her heart was beating. In fact, she was so wrapped up in the 'oh shit, oh shit, I think he's going to kiss me' that she struggled with resisting the urge to close the gap between them herself. Because she could do that. Because she SHOULD have done that, you know, fucking weeks ago when she had first admitted to herself that feelings had bloomed between the two of them.
How could they not? They had spent so many years together. So many sleepless nights cruising down the highway singing duets to favorite songs, so many nights huddled together sipping coffee, or tea, while talking about anything and everything. Her heart, in that moment, was surging with so much emotion for Liam that she wondered if he could feel it. Her fingers, though trembling ever-so-slightly, clutched at the soft material of his t-shirt and the moment his lips met hers, she leaned into him with the tiniest 'mmm'.
This was what she had wanted for so long and the way that her head spun, the way that her heart hammered, the way her lips tingled -- they all pointed to the feelings she'd been so hesitant about being nothing but accurate.
Well. She wasn't shoving him away. So that was a plus.
And she was even leaning into him, just a little, which was very encouraging. Shivering again, happily this time, he looped an arm around her and tugged her closer to him. With one large hand splayed out across her back, he held her in place and continued to kiss her.
Holy shit. He was kissing her. He was kissing Chloe.
He finally drew back, but only because he had to breathe. And he had to look at her, to look her in the eye, and make sure this was okay. Make sure that she wasn't looking at him any differently. That he hadn't ruined one of the best friendships he had ever had in his life. He raised his brows slowly, a question in his eyes, and brushed his thumb against the apple of her cheek.
'Is this okay? Please tell me it's okay...'
Was this okay? Of course this was okay. "Duh," Was all she could say. "of course.. I've.. I.." Their friendship couldn't be ruined. They were so close and she loved him so much. They could do this, right? They definitely could. They were.. they were SO compatible.
As if to assure him, she pressed her lips against his just one more time. She was allowed, wasn't she? "I..." God DAMNIT, couldn't she just talk? Apparently the answer to that question was no so instead of trying, she dropped her hands to his waist and nuzzled into his chest.
With his heart still beating almost painfully heart, Liam wrapped his arms around Chloe and nuzzled her hair again. "I've wanted to do that," he breathed against the top of her head, his voice so quiet it was barely there, "For the longest time. I was just afraid. I was so afraid of losing you, Chloe."
Tightening his arms around her, he tugged her backwards until he could sit down on the edge of the bed, and pulled her gently into his lap. Tucking his face into the crook of her neck briefly, he inhaled her scent for a moment, trying to center his thoughts. He had just done that. He had kissed his best friend, and she had kissed back, and oh god, he might just float away. He felt light, as if an enormous weight had been lifted from him. Secrets weighed so much, and now he was unburdened once more. "I've liked you forever, Dandelion. I don't think I really realized it until the past few weeks, but for the longest time... you've been a light in my life that I had no idea I needed."
Whyyy?! Why was he so precious? Everything he said mirrored her own feelings and while she wanted to tell him that, she couldn't help the constricting feeling in her throat, the threat of emotion prickling at her eyes. "Hi." Was all she could manage to say, subsiding into a fit of awkward laughter afterward.
"Shit, I didn't mean to say hi.. What I meant to say was yes..? Yes... I, it's the same for me, Liam. I've liked you for so long and like.. the past week I've just been thinking about it super hard and I've been terrified of doing something to upset you or, like, I wanted you to.. I just.. I was too nervous."
Oh Christ. She was so adorable. How could a single person be so adorable? It just wasn't fair. He tightened his arms, which were looped around her waist, and held her close. She was small, and soft, and she smelled good, and goddamn it Liam, focus. Have the conversation first, then fawn over how perfect she is later.
"First of all, hi." He grinned and reached up to tap the end of her nose lightly. "Secondly... clearly we're both stupid. Being afraid of each other, not being honest with each other. We could have done this so much sooner."
"I know, we fucking suck, right?" Smiling, she slid her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss against his temple. "I don't want to freak you out or anything but, like, I need to know what's up. We like each other, do we just want to see where that takes us or.. like.. do you want to date me?? Or..?" Was there anything else that it could possibly be? Sure, they could be those kind of friends that just fooled around but, realistically she wasn't that type of girl. She devoted herself to someone and then that was it. She didn't linger elsewhere, she didn't look..
Her fingers played easily with he curls at the back of his neck.
"Chloe..." He sighed and closed his eyes when she began playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, trying to concentrate on her words, rather than her fingers in his curls. It was exceedingly difficult, and he almost wanted to ask her to stop so that he could focus. Almost, but not quite. He liked it just a bit too much to be logical right now.
Trying to re-rail his train of thought, he cleared his throat softly before trying again. "I'd love to date you. I'd love nothing more than to date you." It wasn't like much would even change. They'd still go out together, they'd still chill at the institute, they'd still do all the same things. Only now she knew that he was crazy about her, and now he could kiss her when the urge struck him. And he could tell Mark to shove it, and stop hitting on his girlfriend. Or... whatever she was. If she didn't want to be his girlfriend yet.
"You DO want to date me?" Why was that so surprising to her? They had just admitted that they had feelings for one another but.. but they were going to be officially dating? She was going to have BOYFRIEND? She was beyond giddy and it showed in the way her eyes sparkled, the way her nose scrunched and the giggle that escaped her. "So you're my BOYFRIEND." Chloe exclaimed, squeezing him tightly before pressing another kiss against his lips. "I'm so happy! I'm soooo happy."
Her obvious joy made him laugh, and he hid his face in her shoulder again for a moment. He was so relieved! Because if she was saying boyfriend, then he could say girlfriend, and he had no idea how much he'd wanted to call her that until he'd questioned the thought for a second.
Pulling back, he pressed a hand to the back of her head, meeting her eyes for a moment, and smiled softly. "I'm so happy too, Chloe." He leaned in and kissed her again, warmly and sweetly.
code by tessisamess